It’s amazing what perspective can bring. Whether it’s to a situation, a conversation, a book, a song, or even a trip.
On this side of the world I am two and a half months into what I perceive to be the journey of a lifetime. I believe that the Lord has spoken to me, confirmed a calling, and brought me into the painful process of growth.
On the other side of the world there are some that do not perceive the same thing. They may think I am on a 11 month video project, there some that believe that I am on a extended period of vacation, some even believe I am hiding in my room, doctoring photographs and embedding my face on other peoples pictures that are taken around the world.
Then there are the few. There are the few that understand that the Lord is refining and reaffirming me. There are few that know that the dreams that I have once dreamt have become realities that I am slowly walking through. My developing insight and what I have been going through can only be compared to that of a child that has pressed his hand against his chest for the first time and realizes that he has a heart and it is beating.
My friends, please perceive this:
I. Am. Growing.
Growth is not cheap. It’s a product of time, sweat, investment and the sheer tenacity to see things through to the end, even well after you think it’s over. It’s the culmination of over 60 plus nights of feedback (conversations that bring up affirmation or constructive advice on how your actions and words are perceived), 60 plus days of encountering and serving cultures both internationally and locally, dealing with honoring your brothers and sisters in the faith, preferring them, and choosing rapidly to let go of expectations, information, schedules, and so on…
Growth takes effort. You have to get perspective. You have to make priorities. You can’t make a list on a notepad, and think you already accomplished something. You have to maintain your focus all the while being open to what our Counselor and Comforter can say in the midst of your decision-making. Ultimately it takes sacrifice, even if it’s what you believe to be is the pursuit of perfection.
With nearly 350 gigs of footage, stories, interviews, and observations collected, and with seven unfinished blog entries having to do with all that was listed above, the pursuit of perfection in my work has consumed me and delayed content that should have been up, in some cases, months ago.
All of this has surfaced while facing and reflecting on who I am quickly becoming and my role in a world that is in the midst of intolerable hardship.
The prevailing truth is that my story will not be understood nor perceived the way I am seeing it unless this work comes out of my mind, through a computer and into the world for all to see. The shovel of conviction came and unsettled the guilt that nearly hardened my heart, and with that the Lord spoke and the words of my favorite author Donald Miller are echoing in my heart.
“We do, our stories get written by what we do. Not by what we think or what we feel or what we want. That doesn’t count when you write a story. It’s only written by what we do.”